{"ScriptPreparationCode":"var object = {\r\n \u0022success\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022payload\u0022: {\r\n \u0022value\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022Post\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u002263a85f7b2127\u0022,\r\n \u0022versionId\u0022: \u0022aff719ad13d6\u0022,\r\n \u0022creatorId\u0022: \u002242dd88b5d6e4\u0022,\r\n \u0022homeCollectionId\u0022: \u0022f123f1556889\u0022,\r\n \u0022title\u0022: \u0022Breakfast: A Manifesto\u0022,\r\n \u0022detectedLanguage\u0022: \u0022en\u0022,\r\n \u0022latestVersion\u0022: \u0022aff719ad13d6\u0022,\r\n \u0022latestPublishedVersion\u0022: \u0022aff719ad13d6\u0022,\r\n \u0022isPublished\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022isLatestVersion\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022createdAt\u0022: 1376851149307,\r\n \u0022updatedAt\u0022: 1377173542033,\r\n \u0022acceptedAt\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022firstPublishedAt\u0022: 1377128107896,\r\n \u0022latestPublishedAt\u0022: 1377173542033,\r\n \u0022isRead\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022vote\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022experimentalCss\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022displayAuthor\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022content\u0022: {\r\n \u0022body\u0022: \u0022\u003Csection\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022cc24\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cem\u003EAuthor\u2019s note: A section of this essay has been interpreted by some as inciting violence against cupcake shops. Following consultation with my attorney, I would like to clarify that it is purely rhetorical and, furthermore, go on record as saying I do not and have never advocated political violence against the proprietors of baked goods stores.\u003C/em\u003E\u003C/p\u003E\u003Chr name=\\\u0022ddfb\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00225788\\\u0022\u003EI believe in mornings. I believe in making the most of them. I believe that there is no better way to start your day than to wake early in the morning as the sun still rises, splash cold water on your face, and stand on the scale; then step out into the brisk morning air, jog around the neighborhood, working up a sweat in the solitude of your thoughts; return home, stooping to collect the newspaper from your front lawn, to shower, shampoo, exfoliate, deoderize, and change into clean, pressed, smart clothing; and then head to the kitchen or a nearby restaurant to consume, in the space of a few minutes, hundreds of calories delivered by a vehicle of largely fried grease.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022339a\\\u0022\u003EIn this world there are a surprising number of people who believe that sliced fruit, or yogurt, or granola\u200A\u2014\u200Aor perhaps, if they are feeling especially bold, some combination of all three\u200A\u2014\u200Aconstitutes breakfast. These people are categorically wrong. They may consume these foods at the time of day associated with breakfast, but at best they eat \u003Cem\u003Eat \u003C/em\u003Ebreakfast or \u003Cem\u003Ea\u003C/em\u003E breakfast; they do not eat Breakfast. We must regard them with scorn, or pity; they worship false idols, they covet their neighbors\u2019 kale.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022c0d7\\\u0022\u003EWhat is breakfast? Breakfast is the meal which exists in slight variants throughout the English-speaking world and includes eggs and meat and something made of potatoes or bread and a hot beverage. Breakfast is the Full English, or the Full American, or the Full Canadian. Breakfast is a triumph.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022e26c\\\u0022\u003EYet breakfast is under threat. Breakfast, besieged by the pathologies of the twenty-first century, is fighting a desperate rearguard battle for survival, and at stake is nothing less than civilization itself.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022353d\\\u0022\u003EThis is a war of at least three fronts.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Chr name=\\\u0022fa15\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00223e20\\\u0022\u003EThe first foes of breakfast are the aforementioned health gurus, the benevolent brownshirts who will one day come for all of us. They must: They are driven to it. Their psychologies cannot rest so long as they know that there are still people out there who sit down in diners, order something knowing full well it is high in cholesterol content, bite into it, and experience a surge of visceral pleasure.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022b69b\\\u0022\u003EThese creeping granola fascists have already infiltrated the New York mayoral administration. \u003Cem\u003EFirst they came for the smokers, but I was not a smoker so I did not speak out. Then they came for the trans fats, but I was not a fatty so I did not speak out. Then they came for the big gulp sodas\u2026 \u003C/em\u003EI\u2019m also reliably informed that much of the American and Canadian West Coast has already fallen, seized in the terrifying grip of this totalitarianism of prescription.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00223479\\\u0022\u003EKnow that eventually, in some form or another, they\u2019ll come for you too: Your door will be battered down in the middle of the night, and people in dark, stretchy clothing will storm in (\u201CThis tactical operation sponsored by LULULEMON,\u201D their raid jackets will read) to tear your home apart searching for contraband. They\u2019ll rifle through your dressers, taking your jeans and replacing them with yoga pants and bicycle tights. They\u2019ll upend your kitchen, seizing your beer and replacing it with herbal tea. Any tobacco products found will be confiscated, sealed carefully in evidence bags (\u201CExhibit A: Less than perfect\u201D), and replaced with packets of organic pomegranate seeds.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Chr name=\\\u00220d2d\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022064f\\\u0022\u003EThe second front is Europeans, and by Europeans, I mean continental Europeans and their eponymous \u201Cbreakfast.\u201D Sure, you could do a lot worse than pastries and sliced fruit for breakfast\u200A\u2014\u200Ano breakfast at all, for example. But, like the European Union itself, the continental breakfast seems resigned to the damnation of faint praise: I guess it will have to suffice.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00226c5e\\\u0022\u003EThe biggest perpetrators of the continental breakfast are inevitably the French. As they munch their morning croissants they lament their former imperial \u003Cem\u003Egloire\u003C/em\u003E, blind to the irony: You can\u2019t rule the world when your day starts with half a croissant and an espresso, and people or peoples who so believe should be regarded with extreme skepticism.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00223c82\\\u0022\u003EThis excludes French Canadians, who, descended from lumberjacks and \u003Cem\u003Ecoureurs des bois\u003C/em\u003E, are of much heartier disposition than their francophone brethren on the continent. Fur trappers don\u2019t eat danishes for breakfast. They simply don\u2019t.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00223d76\\\u0022\u003EI recently played host to two European girls visiting from out of town. Every morning I would offer them scrambled eggs, bacon, toast; and every morning they would decline, choosing instead to eat yogurt, or fruit, or little scraps of bread adorned with strange, ingenious cheeses which they had brought with them. One morning they ate nothing at all. \u201CWe\u2019re still full from those veggie burgers we ate the night before,\u201D they explained. I turned aside, my face distorted by disgust, and in that one phrase I suddenly knew the chronic dysfunction of the EU and the tattered economics of the eurozone could never be resolved.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022904e\\\u0022\u003EIn at least this respect, I believe the people of North America and the British Isles have got it right: breakfast is a serious endeavor, and has political implications of a potentially vast scale. Americans, accustomed to eating a large, satisfying breakfast, mistakenly assume most others in the world do similar. We say \u201Cas American as apple pie,\u201D but we would do better to say as American as pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, home fries, and plenty of. We need the caloric fuel if we are going to save the rest of the world from itself.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022f4b4\\\u0022\u003EThere are, of course, regional variations: those who survive the American or English breakfast unscathed may proceed to the next level, the Scottish breakfast, and may God have mercy on their souls.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Chr name=\\\u002295c3\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022bf8f\\\u0022\u003EThe final front is people who eat cupcakes.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00224268\\\u0022\u003ELet me explain.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00229b03\\\u0022\u003ECupcakes represent the antithesis of everything that breakfast is. Breakfast is concrete, durable, satisfying. Cupcakes are ephemeral and frivolous. Cupcakes are the saccharine, prepackaged cute that represents so much of what is wrong with our culture today.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00223db0\\\u0022\u003EI was walking on the street in New York the other day and I passed four cupcake shops in two blocks\u200A\u2014\u200Aand this wasn\u2019t even Brooklyn. (There probably would have been more cupcake shops but all the other store fronts had already been bought by frozen yogurt shops.) Somewhere in North America, right now, an educated person with a university degree, possibly in Cultural Studies, is leaning over a cupcake, earnest expression on their face, spatula or baster in hand, attempting to squeeze as many different pastel tones as possible on what is essentially a tiny, puffy piece of bread.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00221a9a\\\u0022\u003EPeople who eat cupcakes sometimes eat breakfast, but they\u2019ll probably call it \u201Cbrunch,\u201D photograph it before eating, and only manage a few bites before feeling full. However people who photograph their food before eating it will presumably die in horrific unicycle accidents and remove themselves from a gene pool which they would otherwise surely dilute.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Chr name=\\\u0022c1bd\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022ee14\\\u0022\u003EWe inhabit a turbulent era. All around us are the signs of looming civilizational collapse: Uggs, reality television, Auto-Tune, people enthusiastic about Twitter, Abercrombie \u0026amp; Fitch, segway cops, most things associated with Apple. As civilization crumbles around us, we must console ourselves by knowing that there remains at least one thing untouched by the ravages of anarchy and decadence, one unchanging constant, one bedrock which still has \u003Cem\u003Erules\u003C/em\u003E.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u002294e4\\\u0022\u003EHere are some rules:\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00222ce8\\\u0022\u003E1. Breakfast must be consumed with coffee or tea. Tea means black tea: green tea doesn\u2019t count. Orange juice may be served in addition to but never instead of a hot beverage.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00225f8c\\\u0022\u003E2. The breakfast food pyramid is the inverse of whatever the actual food pyramid is. Your plate should be about fifty percent carbohydrates, fifty percent protein, one hundred percent grease, and zero percent arugula. If the First Lady would disapprove, then you are doing it correctly. Go all in or go home: If you look at your plate and there is already a carbohydrate\u200A\u2014\u200Apancakes, say\u200A\u2014\u200Athen double down with toast, and treble down with hash browns.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u002245c9\\\u0022\u003E3. Tomatoes, orange slices, or other fruit may be added, for color only.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00227948\\\u0022\u003E4. Britons and French-Canadians may consume baked beans with their breakfast, as they are considered starch legumes, not fruits or vegetables.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Chr name=\\\u002254cc\\\u0022\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u0022fb6e\\\u0022\u003EEat whatever you want, however you want for lunch and dinner\u200A\u2014\u200Abut keep at least one thing sacred.\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00227903\\\u0022\u003EThe counterrevolution starts now. It starts with bacon. Throw down the mango smoothie you were about to drink and run to the closest greasy spoon diner. (Run there; you probably won\u2019t be able to run back.)\u003C/p\u003E\u003Cp name=\\\u00225bf4\\\u0022\u003EAnd if you pass a cupcake shop on the way, firebomb it.\u003C/p\u003E\u003C/section\u003E\u0022,\r\n \u0022subtitle\u0022: \u0022A Scientific Argument by Reference to Historical, Political, and Cultural Examples\u0022,\r\n \u0022caption\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022bodyModel\u0022: {\r\n \u0022paragraphs\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022cc24\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Author\u2019s note: A section of this essay has been interpreted by some as inciting violence against cupcake shops. Following consultation with my attorney, I would like to clarify that it is purely rhetorical and, furthermore, go on record as saying I do not and have never advocated political violence against the proprietors of baked goods stores.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 346\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022ddfb\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 5,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00225788\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022I believe in mornings. I believe in making the most of them. I believe that there is no better way to start your day than to wake early in the morning as the sun still rises, splash cold water on your face, and stand on the scale; then step out into the brisk morning air, jog around the neighborhood, working up a sweat in the solitude of your thoughts; return home, stooping to collect the newspaper from your front lawn, to shower, shampoo, exfoliate, deoderize, and change into clean, pressed, smart clothing; and then head to the kitchen or a nearby restaurant to consume, in the space of a few minutes, hundreds of calories delivered by a vehicle of largely fried grease.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022339a\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022In this world there are a surprising number of people who believe that sliced fruit, or yogurt, or granola \u2014 or perhaps, if they are feeling especially bold, some combination of all three \u2014 constitutes breakfast. These people are categorically wrong. They may consume these foods at the time of day associated with breakfast, but at best they eat at breakfast or a breakfast; they do not eat Breakfast. We must regard them with scorn, or pity; they worship false idols, they covet their neighbors\u2019 kale.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 347,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 350\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 363,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 364\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022c0d7\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022What is breakfast? Breakfast is the meal which exists in slight variants throughout the English-speaking world and includes eggs and meat and something made of potatoes or bread and a hot beverage. Breakfast is the Full English, or the Full American, or the Full Canadian. Breakfast is a triumph.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022e26c\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Yet breakfast is under threat. Breakfast, besieged by the pathologies of the twenty-first century, is fighting a desperate rearguard battle for survival, and at stake is nothing less than civilization itself.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022353d\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022This is a war of at least three fronts.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022fa15\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 5,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00223e20\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022The first foes of breakfast are the aforementioned health gurus, the benevolent brownshirts who will one day come for all of us. They must: They are driven to it. Their psychologies cannot rest so long as they know that there are still people out there who sit down in diners, order something knowing full well it is high in cholesterol content, bite into it, and experience a surge of visceral pleasure.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022b69b\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022These creeping granola fascists have already infiltrated the New York mayoral administration. First they came for the smokers, but I was not a smoker so I did not speak out. Then they came for the trans fats, but I was not a fatty so I did not speak out. Then they came for the big gulp sodas\u2026 I\u2019m also reliably informed that much of the American and Canadian West Coast has already fallen, seized in the terrifying grip of this totalitarianism of prescription.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 94,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 294\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00223479\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Know that eventually, in some form or another, they\u2019ll come for you too: Your door will be battered down in the middle of the night, and people in dark, stretchy clothing will storm in (\u201CThis tactical operation sponsored by LULULEMON,\u201D their raid jackets will read) to tear your home apart searching for contraband. They\u2019ll rifle through your dressers, taking your jeans and replacing them with yoga pants and bicycle tights. They\u2019ll upend your kitchen, seizing your beer and replacing it with herbal tea. Any tobacco products found will be confiscated, sealed carefully in evidence bags (\u201CExhibit A: Less than perfect\u201D), and replaced with packets of organic pomegranate seeds.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00220d2d\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 5,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022064f\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022The second front is Europeans, and by Europeans, I mean continental Europeans and their eponymous \u201Cbreakfast.\u201D Sure, you could do a lot worse than pastries and sliced fruit for breakfast \u2014 no breakfast at all, for example. But, like the European Union itself, the continental breakfast seems resigned to the damnation of faint praise: I guess it will have to suffice.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00226c5e\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022The biggest perpetrators of the continental breakfast are inevitably the French. As they munch their morning croissants they lament their former imperial gloire, blind to the irony: You can\u2019t rule the world when your day starts with half a croissant and an espresso, and people or peoples who so believe should be regarded with extreme skepticism.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 154,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 160\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00223c82\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022This excludes French Canadians, who, descended from lumberjacks and coureurs des bois, are of much heartier disposition than their francophone brethren on the continent. Fur trappers don\u2019t eat danishes for breakfast. They simply don\u2019t.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 68,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 85\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00223d76\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022I recently played host to two European girls visiting from out of town. Every morning I would offer them scrambled eggs, bacon, toast; and every morning they would decline, choosing instead to eat yogurt, or fruit, or little scraps of bread adorned with strange, ingenious cheeses which they had brought with them. One morning they ate nothing at all. \u201CWe\u2019re still full from those veggie burgers we ate the night before,\u201D they explained. I turned aside, my face distorted by disgust, and in that one phrase I suddenly knew the chronic dysfunction of the EU and the tattered economics of the eurozone could never be resolved.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022904e\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022In at least this respect, I believe the people of North America and the British Isles have got it right: breakfast is a serious endeavor, and has political implications of a potentially vast scale. Americans, accustomed to eating a large, satisfying breakfast, mistakenly assume most others in the world do similar. We say \u201Cas American as apple pie,\u201D but we would do better to say as American as pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, home fries, and plenty of. We need the caloric fuel if we are going to save the rest of the world from itself.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022f4b4\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022There are, of course, regional variations: those who survive the American or English breakfast unscathed may proceed to the next level, the Scottish breakfast, and may God have mercy on their souls.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u002295c3\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 5,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022bf8f\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022The final front is people who eat cupcakes.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00224268\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Let me explain.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00229b03\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Cupcakes represent the antithesis of everything that breakfast is. Breakfast is concrete, durable, satisfying. Cupcakes are ephemeral and frivolous. Cupcakes are the saccharine, prepackaged cute that represents so much of what is wrong with our culture today.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00223db0\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022I was walking on the street in New York the other day and I passed four cupcake shops in two blocks \u2014 and this wasn\u2019t even Brooklyn. (There probably would have been more cupcake shops but all the other store fronts had already been bought by frozen yogurt shops.) Somewhere in North America, right now, an educated person with a university degree, possibly in Cultural Studies, is leaning over a cupcake, earnest expression on their face, spatula or baster in hand, attempting to squeeze as many different pastel tones as possible on what is essentially a tiny, puffy piece of bread.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00221a9a\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022People who eat cupcakes sometimes eat breakfast, but they\u2019ll probably call it \u201Cbrunch,\u201D photograph it before eating, and only manage a few bites before feeling full. However people who photograph their food before eating it will presumably die in horrific unicycle accidents and remove themselves from a gene pool which they would otherwise surely dilute.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022c1bd\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 5,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022ee14\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022We inhabit a turbulent era. All around us are the signs of looming civilizational collapse: Uggs, reality television, Auto-Tune, people enthusiastic about Twitter, Abercrombie \u0026 Fitch, segway cops, most things associated with Apple. As civilization crumbles around us, we must console ourselves by knowing that there remains at least one thing untouched by the ravages of anarchy and decadence, one unchanging constant, one bedrock which still has rules.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: [\r\n {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022start\u0022: 448,\r\n \u0022end\u0022: 453\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u002294e4\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Here are some rules:\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00222ce8\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u00221. Breakfast must be consumed with coffee or tea. Tea means black tea: green tea doesn\u2019t count. Orange juice may be served in addition to but never instead of a hot beverage.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00225f8c\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u00222. The breakfast food pyramid is the inverse of whatever the actual food pyramid is. Your plate should be about fifty percent carbohydrates, fifty percent protein, one hundred percent grease, and zero percent arugula. If the First Lady would disapprove, then you are doing it correctly. Go all in or go home: If you look at your plate and there is already a carbohydrate \u2014 pancakes, say \u2014 then double down with toast, and treble down with hash browns.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u002245c9\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u00223. Tomatoes, orange slices, or other fruit may be added, for color only.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00227948\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u00224. Britons and French-Canadians may consume baked beans with their breakfast, as they are considered starch legumes, not fruits or vegetables.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u002254cc\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 5,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022fb6e\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022Eat whatever you want, however you want for lunch and dinner \u2014 but keep at least one thing sacred.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00227903\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022The counterrevolution starts now. It starts with bacon. Throw down the mango smoothie you were about to drink and run to the closest greasy spoon diner. (Run there; you probably won\u2019t be able to run back.)\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n },\r\n {\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u00225bf4\u0022,\r\n \u0022type\u0022: 1,\r\n \u0022text\u0022: \u0022And if you pass a cupcake shop on the way, firebomb it.\u0022,\r\n \u0022markups\u0022: []\r\n }\r\n ]\r\n },\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*HfrxdyMooxPqPloS.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022contain\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 460,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 276,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 700\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u0022media\u0022: {},\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022currentCollectionId\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022statusForCollection\u0022: \u0022approved\u0022,\r\n \u0022createdAtRelative\u0022: \u00222 months ago\u0022,\r\n 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Tory anarchist. \u003Ca href=\\\u0022http://twitter.com/G_Robert_Ogilvy\\\u0022 target=\\\u0022_blank\\\u0022 title=\\\u0022Twitter profile for @G_Robert_Ogilvy\\\u0022\u003E@G_Robert_Ogilvy\u003C/a\u003E\u0022\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u00224ad362599918\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022User\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u00224ad362599918\u0022,\r\n \u0022userId\u0022: \u00224ad362599918\u0022,\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022charlotte druckman\u0022,\r\n \u0022createdAt\u0022: 1357589848945,\r\n \u0022bio\u0022: \u0022editor at MEDIUM; muse; cookie connoisseur; author, SKIRT STEAK: Women Chefs on Standing the Heat \u0026 Staying in the Kitchen (Chronicle, Fall 2012)\u0022,\r\n \u0022username\u0022: \u0022cettedrucks\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*-ZsT5tZyG-wRnLBD.png\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundImageId\u0022: \u00220*c_z68Bht56x4r8P3.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022lastPostCreatedAt\u0022: 1380119556470,\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022bioHTML\u0022: \u0022editor at MEDIUM; muse; cookie connoisseur; author, SKIRT STEAK: Women Chefs on Standing the Heat \u0026amp; Staying in the Kitchen (Chronicle, Fall 2012)\u0022\r\n }\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u0022Collection\u0022: {\r\n \u00221fb82bf21ad3\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022Collection\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u00221fb82bf21ad3\u0022,\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022Pulling Pranks\u0022,\r\n \u0022slug\u0022: \u0022pulling-pranks\u0022,\r\n \u0022creatorId\u0022: \u00224ad362599918\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionType\u0022: \u0022open\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionSort\u0022: \u0022default\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionIsPaywalled\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022description\u0022: \u0022On The Art of Leg-Pulling\u0022,\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*ueM7eLEovNSGcH-x.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 0\r\n },\r\n \u0022metadata\u0022: {\r\n \u0022postCount\u0022: 82,\r\n \u0022activeAt\u0022: 1381787508351\r\n },\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022canPost\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022canAdminister\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAddContributors\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022isSubscribed\u0022: false\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u00222a307d7b6b48\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022Collection\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u00222a307d7b6b48\u0022,\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022Funny Stuff\u0022,\r\n \u0022slug\u0022: \u0022funny-stuff\u0022,\r\n \u0022creatorId\u0022: \u0022cd5018cebde7\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionType\u0022: \u0022open\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionSort\u0022: \u0022default\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionIsPaywalled\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022description\u0022: \u0022Medium posts that are funny. 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\u0022closed\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionSort\u0022: \u0022oldest\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionIsPaywalled\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022description\u0022: \u0022Expand your reading horizons with our favorite posts from the past week.\u0022,\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*VL6DID_N1gXwBpYy.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 0\r\n },\r\n \u0022metadata\u0022: {\r\n \u0022postCount\u0022: 10,\r\n \u0022activeAt\u0022: 1377216083865\r\n },\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022canPost\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAdminister\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAddContributors\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022isSubscribed\u0022: false\r\n }\r\n },\r\n 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Edited by Medium staff.\u0022,\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*tsAwlHt6yDys_fk8.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 0\r\n },\r\n \u0022metadata\u0022: {\r\n \u0022postCount\u0022: 3166,\r\n \u0022activeAt\u0022: 1381856761725\r\n },\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022canPost\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAdminister\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAddContributors\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022isSubscribed\u0022: true\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u0022f123f1556889\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022Collection\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u0022f123f1556889\u0022,\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022For the Love of Food\u0022,\r\n \u0022slug\u0022: \u0022the-ingredients-2\u0022,\r\n \u0022creatorId\u0022: \u00224ad362599918\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionType\u0022: \u0022open\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionSort\u0022: \u0022default\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionIsPaywalled\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022description\u0022: \u0022Recipes and Reflections \u2014 Eating, Cooking, and Thinking About Food\u0022,\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*yMkSw62mXTWaV4Yo.png\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 0\r\n },\r\n \u0022metadata\u0022: {\r\n \u0022postCount\u0022: 458,\r\n \u0022activeAt\u0022: 1381811070897\r\n },\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022canPost\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022canAdminister\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAddContributors\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022isSubscribed\u0022: false\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u0022f31fc6196e7c\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022Collection\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u0022f31fc6196e7c\u0022,\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022Life is what happens\u0022,\r\n \u0022slug\u0022: \u0022life-is-what-happens\u0022,\r\n \u0022creatorId\u0022: \u00228d96d61a0cf\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionType\u0022: \u0022open\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionSort\u0022: \u0022default\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionIsPaywalled\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022description\u0022: \u0022Stories from real life\u0022,\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*_1uiu165yk1zeXwN.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 0\r\n },\r\n \u0022metadata\u0022: {\r\n \u0022postCount\u0022: 18,\r\n \u0022activeAt\u0022: 1379802568832\r\n },\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022canPost\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022canAdminister\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAddContributors\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022isSubscribed\u0022: false\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u0022ff97e619afb8\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022Collection\u0022,\r\n \u0022id\u0022: \u0022ff97e619afb8\u0022,\r\n \u0022name\u0022: \u0022Comedy Corner\u0022,\r\n \u0022slug\u0022: \u0022comedy-corner\u0022,\r\n \u0022creatorId\u0022: \u0022d2289e668388\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionType\u0022: \u0022open\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionSort\u0022: \u0022default\u0022,\r\n \u0022collectionIsPaywalled\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022description\u0022: \u0022A haven for humorous hilarity\u0022,\r\n \u0022image\u0022: {\r\n \u0022type\u0022: \u0022ImageInfo\u0022,\r\n \u0022imageId\u0022: \u00220*OsD_RjNqigIh9M6p.jpeg\u0022,\r\n \u0022backgroundSize\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022originalWidth\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022originalHeight\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022attribution\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022attributionUrl\u0022: \u0022\u0022,\r\n \u0022strategy\u0022: \u0022resample\u0022,\r\n \u0022height\u0022: 0,\r\n \u0022width\u0022: 0\r\n },\r\n \u0022metadata\u0022: {\r\n \u0022postCount\u0022: 195,\r\n \u0022activeAt\u0022: 1381852028110\r\n },\r\n \u0022virtuals\u0022: {\r\n \u0022canPost\u0022: true,\r\n \u0022canAdminister\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022canAddContributors\u0022: false,\r\n \u0022isSubscribed\u0022: false\r\n }\r\n }\r\n }\r\n }\r\n },\r\n \u0022v\u0022: 2,\r\n \u0022b\u0022: \u00226094-956a8a1\u0022\r\n}\r\n\r\nvar copy = null;","TestCases":[{"Name":"structuredClone","Code":"copy = structuredClone(object);","IsDeferred":false},{"Name":"JSON.parse(JSON.stringify());","Code":"copy = JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(object));","IsDeferred":false}]}